Sunday, March 18, 2012

Much Noynoying About Nothing


“The reality in the word is what makes it rather interesting and relevant. Otherwise, it is not worth the ire or disgust of Malacañang,” .

Archbishop Oscar Cruz March 17th, 2012

Anyone who remembers anything about high school physics will remember the equation:

work = force x distance

The word “work” as used in physics has a narrower meaning than it does in everyday life.  First, it only refers to physical work, of course, and second, something has to be accomplished.  If you lift up a box of books from the floor and put it on a shelf, you’ve done work, as defined in physics, if the box is too heavy and you tug at it until you’re worn out but it doesn’t move, that doesn’t count as work.


In high school John Kavelac started pushing against the wall of the classroom and asked if he was doing work. Well he did do work because that image remained in my head over twenty  years and he was just a substitute teacher at the time. The fact of the matter remains if the country is to go anywhere, it would be to our advantage that the occupant of the highest elected position in the land was very familiar with the concept and even better the execution of work. I said many times before the election that he is all rhetoric with no track record. But his defenders would have none of that. 

Noynoy did not work before he was elected and surprise surprise he does not do anything after he is elected. Hence the validity of the term "noynoying" . As far as his supporters were concerned the fact he did nothing was a plus. Good thing I did not have a Glock nearby. The Philippines has a myriad of problems and for many many people the best solution was to pick somebody who never showed you any capacity for problem solving? No wonder we have those problems in the first place.

Anyway in the spirit of public protest came the new phenomena Noynoying. I found the Facebook page    and the creators actually made it last year. I would assume similar to Tebowing which sprouted at the same time. Making a verb out of a noun. Tim Tebow was known for prayer at the end of a game and Noynoy was known for , well you know nothing. Noynoying is defined as looking bored and assuming the laziest pose possible. 

Malacanang wants you to believe that is foul. But it has to come from somewhere? You know where it came from? Noynoy himself. An election campaign is an opportunity for one to talk about himself or herself. Noynoy did not do that because we all know there was nothing to talk about. That is exactly what he did pre elections 2010: nothing. Instead we were bombarded with his family members living or dead, seen or unseen. The campaign did it's best to paint Noynoy Aquino as a sympathetic figure, lovable figure, sentimental figure but never made him out to be a working figure.

So he won with those tactics because of the quality or lack thereof of the electorate.  But did you not think there was going to be a cost? Another physics rule is: To every action there is always an equal and opposite reaction. In the Bible You Live By the Sword You Die by Sword. The Filipino voted  for  Noynoy based on nothing and are getting nothing and are shocked. Like Capt. Renault in Casablanca who was totally shocked that there was gambling in the casino.

Galatians 6:7

Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.

Noynoy's  campaign was built on the ephemeral not the substantive. So people are then shocked we are getting ephemeral results and not substantive. The beauty of the whole Noynoying campaign is that it hits the spot. Noynoy HQ is authentically annoyed. The truth hurts. They release those lame "look at me I am working" photos right after and claim it was coincidence. Malacanang spin doctors working overtime.  Don't they get it? This was not some randomly generated negative trait. Who do they think they are? Pravda?   Joseph Goebbels ?

Ironically and I truly mean ironically, the best thing Noynoy defenders could have done on the accusation of doing nothing was nothing. You have heard the expression I will not dignify that accusation with a response. Well Noynoy handlers sure dignified all that. These photos were clearly a choreographed manipulated response to being jabbed by Noynoying. In the video clip below Larry Sanders sets out to not dignify a false paternity accusation by just saying nothing. When one exercises restraint instead of some some knee jerk reaction, it requires discipline and projects poise. Discipline and poise come from doing something over and over till you do it well. Unfortunately for Noynoy and his supporters, that saying does not apply to doing nothing over and over.

Ed (Thank you for some of the pictures) ( No work and pay)

MANILA, Philippines—Stating that the truth hurts, retired Archbishop Oscar Cruz said Saturday Malacañang should not complain but should simply absorb the message of the latest protest gimmick of militants: “noynoying.”

Cruz, a known Aquino critic, said “noynoying”—a newly coined word that plays on the President’s  nickname and is used to describe a passive protest act of just lying down and doing nothing— was a jab at President Benigno Aquino’s supposedly “do nothing” leadership style which, he said, was “not altogether false.”

“The truth is painful. The new word could be annoying but it is not altogether false,” Cruz said in an interview.

“The reality in the word is what makes it rather interesting and relevant. Otherwise, it is not worth the ire or disgust of Malacañang,” he added.

Cruz said “noynoying” was “another novel expression in line with KKK” or the protest term for  “kaibigan, kaklase, at kabarilan (friends, classmates, and fellow gun enthusiasts)” coined by the President’s critics to describe close associates he appointed and retained in power despite controversies surrounding them.

“Instead of becoming angry, Malacañang should instead get the message behind the word and the gesture that goes with it,” Cruz said.

Monday, March 12, 2012

A Fun Exercise For The Yellow Army

Noynoy Aquino was elected President of the Philippines May 2010. How this was done was by convincing a hoard of people that Noynoy was a leader and a competent decision maker. This hoard has since found work as background cast of the Walking Dead. My many thoughts on the inappropriateness of Noynoy Aquino as any kind of leader let alone President -

I have this theory that if you take any of those Chuck Norris jokes and substitute  the name Noynoy Aquino, 95% of the yellow army will totally believe it. In fact read a  bunch of them and see how long it takes before they stop taking you seriously. Some of them are so deluded by the Noy Machine that they will think you are  reading them a draft of his biography. Some of them will get Tupas and
Colmenares   and sue Chuck Norris for infringing on the " Noynoy Mystique". There is no funnier person on God's green Earth to juxtapose with Chuck Norris than Noynoy Aquino assuming you lived through his campaign and  you have seen him for what he is which is not much.

By any objective account Noynoy is quite useless. But if you heard the rhetoric of Noynoy and his campaign they make him out to be all things to all people. If the horde of the Yellow Army will believe Noynoy is a man of action, integrity, principles and leadership. Then they will believe anything about him. Including the Chuck Norris jokes.


Noynoy Aquino' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

Noynoy Aquino counted to infinity - twice.

Noynoy Aquino does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Noynoy Aquino goes killing.

If you can see Noynoy Aquino, he can see you. If you can't see Noynoy Aquino you may be only seconds away from death.

Noynoy Aquino sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Noynoy roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Noynoy Aquino.

Noynoy Aquino built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Noynoy Aquino met all three bullets with his bald head,  deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.

Noynoy Aquino has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.

They once made a Noynoy Aquino toilet paper, but it wouldn't take sh*t from anybody.

A blind man once stepped on Noynoy Aquino' shoe. Noynoy replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Noynoy Aquino!" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Noynoy Aquino.

Noynoy Aquino  went looking for a bar but couldn’t find one. He walked to a vacant lot and sat there. Sure enough within an hour an a half someone constructed a bar around him. He then ordered a shot, drank it, and then burned the place to the ground. Noynoy Aquino yelled over the roar of the flames, “always leave things the way you found em!”

One time while sparring with Wolverine, Noynoy Aquino accidentally lost his left testicle. You might be familiar with it to this very day by its technical term: Jupiter.

Noynoy Aquino is Luke Skywalker’s real father.

Contrary to popular belief, Noynoy Aquino, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth. Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.

Noynoy Aquino does not use spell check. If he happens to misspell a word, Oxford will simply change the actual spelling of it.

Before science was invented it was once believed that autumn occurred when Noynoy Aquino roundhouse kicked every tree in existence.

In the original pilot for Star Trek Next Generation, Noynoy Aquino can be seen powering the USS Enterprise warp drive with his roundhouse kicks.

Noynoy Aquino isn’t lactose intolerant. He just doesn’t put up with lactose’s sh*t.

Noynoy Aquino doesn’t eat. Rather he kicks ass until he’s full.

Scientists in Washington have recently conceded that, if there were a nuclear war, all that would remain are cockroaches and Noynoy Aquino.

Noynoy Aquino once threated to sue Burger King because they refused to make it his way. When asked what “his way” detailed, he replied: “with barbed wire and nails, of course”. He then roundhouse kicked the reporter for even asking.

Noynoy Aquino never “gets laid”, rather: “laid gets Noynoy”.

Playgirl magazine once asked Noynoy Aquino to appear naked in an issue, Noynoy laughed at the opporunity saying “there isn’t enough paper in the world to contain my bearded member”. He then killed the editors simply by unzipping his pants.

Helen Keller’s favorite color is Noynoy Aquino

Noynoy Aquino once walked down the street with a massive erection. There we no survivors.

When Noynoy Aquino was a kid, he gave teacher's grades.

Noynoy Aquino is the only person to have never played the game of basketball, but still has more NBA rings than Jordan.

Noynoy Aquino once gave mouth to mouth to a flea

The ocean was created from the dinosaurs tears when they first saw Noynoy Aquino.

Noynoy Aquino dips his hot sauce in eggs.

Addition was created simply to keep count of Noynoy Aquino' victims.

Noynoy Aquino rolled a 20 on a 6 sided dice.

Only diamonds can cut diamonds, the only thing that can cut Noynoy Aquino.... DONT BE STUPID


Noynoy Aquino invented the high-five

Noynoy Aquino doesn't have hair on his testicles, because hair does not grow on steel.

Noynoy Aquino is the only person on the planet that can kick you in the back of the face.

Noynoy Aquino could win America's Got Talent simply by walking on the stage.

Noynoy Aquino doesn't pop his collar, his shirts just get erections when they touch his body.

Noynoy Aquino can build a snowman out of rain.

Noynoy Aquino once had a heart attack; his heart lost.

The only thing that gets between Noynoy Aquino and justice is an equal sign.

Brett Favre can throw a football over 50 yards. Noynoy Aquino can throw Brett Favre even


Noynoy Aquino doesn't use pickup lines, he simply says, "Now."

Noynoy Aquino once pulled a building out of a burning building.

Noynoy Aquino cannot predict the future; the future just better f***ing do what Noynoy Aquino says.

Noynoy Aquino can kill two stones with one bird.

In his will, Noynoy Aquino has specified that if he dies, he will bury himself.

When asked what type of vehicle he drives, Noynoy Aquino responded slyly with "Don't you mean what kind of vehicle drives me?"

Noynoy Aquino always has sex on the first date. Always.

Crop circles are Noynoy Aquino' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the f*ck down.


Noynoy Aquino watched Paranormal Activity alone.

Noynoy Aquino has three meals a day; blood, sweat, and tears.

Noynoy Aquino can strangle you with a cordless phone.

Noynoy Aquino can EAT water..

Noynoy Aquino can "Enter Outside"

Sunday, March 11, 2012

She Blinded Me With Silence

She blinded me with silence. Yes , it's a play on a Thomas Dolby song that was a big hit when I was in Grade 10. For those of you who clicked expecting to read about an old flame giving me the silent treatment, this is not the column for it. This weekend did something many of you hoped would happen a long time ago. It shut me up. I knew that going in. I did not know why it was necessary but I had faith it was going to be a good thing.

I even joked that the one good thing about being silent is it was much easier to keep up the illusion that I was not a complete idiot. You know the expression , better to be silent and let people think you are an idiot than to open your mouth and leave them no doubt.

There is a saying that Silence is Golden. Well for one weekend and for one person I can say that this weekend and this place was Golden. You can read my blog and realize the many different places my attention goes to. This weekend was the most focused I have been on my faith in a while. Which giving my scatter brain M.O. May not be saying much but it's better than my usual mindset.

Last night we voluntarily turned our cell phones in. The next thing you know they might ask for my firearms too. The root of me being here was reluctantly accepting an invitation to "bible study" . Not that I don't have faith or have anything against it. You just have this inert apprehension that you may not fit in or care to fit in. Couple that with a full time job plus part time school for me then you start to really get protective of your free time. Well this was back in August I think. And I have been a regular member of The School Of The Word.

If you are cynical of spirituality, Catholicism or organized religion but are still reading, there is grace in that. Anyone can be cynical about organized religion but one thing you can never argue is the pure niceness of the people that things like this tend to attract. Maybe the meanies are still in here but they have their nice face on. If one is supposed to lead by example then I would like to think the people here put forth very good example in terms of respect , listening and sharing. That is not even counting the values that so called atheists ignore.

The fear of not fitting in , is normal. The thing is , in our group we have all ages. Somebody in grade school, somebody in high school, somebody recently started working, wives, mothers , single people and the group works. I learn from all of them.

Learning is only possible if one surrenders due to ignorance. The proud seldom learn. By voluntarily partaking in this exercise at some point all of us want to hear something , learn something. I liked what someone said last night (Luigi) of wanting to be a sponge. Just so happens one of the themes of the talk was water. If water is good for you then you need something like a sponge to get it. Not a stone . A stone that is full of pride with a tough exterior. Not wanting anything to make an impact on it. Wanting to do the impact itself. Leave it's mark on others and not designed to be impacted on. Just because it's silent , does not mean there is nothing to hear. It is silent here precisely because we should not miss what we could hear.

This school and this weekend could not be possible if it wasn't for passion. If not for passion the group would not spread the way it has, and I would never have been invited to go. If it wasn't for passion, I would not be attracted enough to come back a second time or a third time. As Rod Stewart sang back when he was not a complete sell out "everybody I know needs some passion. Some people are scared of passion. Some people die and kill for passion. No one admits they need passion" .

There were a lot of feelings and insight one can get from going into a place like this and with people as good and as caring as these people are. After all no one cares how much you know until they know how much you care. But just know that writing this is not meant to contain or summarize whatever I went through here. It is up to you, to say Yes to something similar one day. As Bobby Knight once said you have to get in position to get into position. This weekend was not just this weekend a result of lot of things I have said yes to in the past. It is about faith.

The exercise of the silent retreat did in fact keep me quiet for a little while . But I found that I have slightly more defined Voice because of it.

Ed (importance of silence)

verbum dei