Comedy From Today's Headlines April 19 2012

I am not ashamed to admit it. I fear driving in the city where I live. It may have to do that I drove for 16 years in a slightly more courteous place. I will do almost anything to get out of driving in real traffic. Some people ask me why I am the way I am and I just said for my first sixteen years of driving I never once had to share a road with a jeepney driver. Don't get me wrong because I ride on jeeps every once in a while. I just know that to understand a jeepney driver's mentality just remove the "ity".


Jeepney drivers were kamikaze pilots in a previous life. That is just my belief. To paraphrase Steven Wright, Manila drivers do things you thought were only possible in cartoons. When I moved here my grandmother said to me " you will learn to drive our way". I felt like answering like Captain Williard in Apocalypse Now "I don't see any method at all, sir."

I need improvement in my prayer life. I should pray more when I eat, sleep and wake up. The one time I pray regularly is when I get into the front seat of a car. I have seen things done here that do not make me the list bit curious about what ingesting LSD would be like. If they ever held Death Race 2000 here, I am not sure we would even notice it.

I would like to close this thought by asking you to read the rest of that headline. A more High Definition version of the picture is here.

Ironically another story that shares the front page with this one is "Pinoys biggest believers in God". Well they all drive like they want to meet him soon.


Ed



http://www.hellobc.com/vancouver.aspx

http://www.sparknotes.com/film/apocalypsenow/canalysis.html

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0078788/quotes?qt=qt0324910

http://www.mediafire.com/?32150ueon43gr08 (headline full resolution)


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0ZLYEbkykCI (Death Race 2000)


http://www.philstar.com/Article.aspx?articleId=798568&publicationSubCategoryId=200


Manila named 3rd worst city for driving
(philstar.com) Updated April 19, 2012 07:31 AM Comments (4) View comments

MANILA, Philippines - The Philippine capital of Manila has been tagged by the "CNNGo" travel and lifestyle website as the world's third-worst city for driving.

The website cited Filipinos' concern about traffic congestion as their number one problem, followed by air pollution, garbage collection, flood control and the need for security.

"So, Filipinos care more about getting to work on time than they do about respiratory ailments, mounting trash heaps, drowning or being assaulted?" it said.

CNNGo said that in 2001, Manila borrowed US$60 million from the World Bank for transit-related activities.

"Among other things, the funds were meant to 'promote the use of non-motorized transport,'" it added. "A campaign asking locals to 'Please stop driving,' however, wasn't necessarily the best approach to traffic management."

The website believes that authorities may be doing something to solve the traffic mess in the city. "Redeeming quality: You're in a country in which smooth-flowing traffic is apparenly of utmost importance to residents. So, you gotta figure somebody, somewhere is working on the problem. Right?"

Beijing in China topped the list as the world's third-worst place for driving, followed by New Delhi in India.

The other cities in the world on the list are Mexico City in Mexico, Johannesburg in South Africa, Lagos in Nigeria, S�o Paolo in Brazil, Moscow in Russia, Toronto in Canada and Monaco.

MMDA doubts report

Metropolitan Manila Development Authority (MMDA) officials expressed doubts the report.

"Siguro hindi naman totoo iyan. Ano bang basehan nila? Convenience? Travel time?" said MMDA Chairman Francis Tolentino.

"Ang ginagawa natin sinasama na rin natin ang mga residente para sila rin ang gumawa ng paraan against traffic," he added.

He said that while some Filipino drivers need more discipline on the road, the country is not being left behind with regard to the state of roads and vehicles.

"MMDA, under Chairman Tolentino's strong leadership, is working hard to improve Metro Manila's traffic situation," said the agency's traffic discipline unit head, lawyer Yves Gonzalez.

"We've implemented speed limits, motorcycle lanes, installed traffic light timers, utilized social media, and mobile apps to inform motorists," he told ABS-CBNNews.com

"All projects aimed at improving Metro Manila's traffic situation. All this in less than 2 years, and we have a lot more ahead," Gonzalez said. - Pia Gutierrez, ABS-CBN News