Friday, July 16, 2010

Three Reasons Why I Avoid Reading The Newspaper


Talent- a special natural ability or aptitude
1) I like to think I know a lot about music. One of the most talented people ever in terms of music is Carole King. She could sing, write and play piano with the band. If you don't have Tapestry then run out and get it. You will never see that ad without vomiting again.

Charice does not have 1% of Carole King's talent. She does not compose or play an instrument on stage. She sings songs that others made famous. If she was never born those songs will still be there. Now you know why I avoid all kinds of media here in Manila. Local promoters want you to believe what they have is the best in the world so go plunk your hard earned cash on them. It takes complete arrogance and disillusionment to call Charice the most talented girl in the world. Stop shoveling manure in front of me because I won't be stepping on it. Fact: She is a teenager. Fact: talent takes time to develop. More of my Charice rants here. Another longer and better Charice rant here.

I will end this portion this way. If you read the tributes to Carole King's Tapestry in my link above you will see:

"If the definition of a classic is a piece of work that survives and prospers over time, then Tapestry is a classic."

Do you really think Charice will prosper over time? If you see my music collection, you will see it's not dictated by Ellen and Oprah recommendations. Charice has flavor of the month written all over her. Of course she is a source of naive nationalism though.

2) Noynoy wants end to killings. It's the easiest thing in the world to want something.
  • I want an end to Kris Aquino's show biz career.
  • I want Kris Aquino to leave all male adult humans alone.
  • I want only literate people to vote.
  • I want the letter 'M' stricken from the English language.
  • I want four tons of cardboard stored in my bedroom.
  • I want to eat gummy bears 6 days a week and on the 7th day Taco Bell.
  • I want a recount of a certain vote in 1992 so Morena Corwin could be rightfully named the winner.
  • I want the tobacco tax to represent 98% of the sticker price on a pack of cigarettes,
  • I want the CFL to consider itself an amateur sport.
  • I want my Bea Arthur clone thawed out just like Austin Powers in 1997. Yeah Baby!
  • I want the Philippines to give Chip Tsao his own annual holiday.
  • I want Boron removed from the Periodic Table of Elements.
  • I want to show up at work everyday dressed like Fred Flintstone.
  • I want choreography to count next month when I face my MBA panel for my Oral Comprehensive Exam.
  • I want you to want me. (Cheap Trick)
  • I want you I want you so bad it's driving me mad. (Abbey Road)
  • I want, what they want, and every other guy who came over here and spilled his guts and gave everything he had, wants! For our country to love us as much as we love it! That's what I want! (John Rambo)
  • I want to thank you for reading this.
  • I want you to realize the position of president is not a position in which one wishes their troubles to go away.

3) Finally, Noynoy rips the local weather service a new one. You can tell Noynoy's never been married. Spouses of both genders can get really moody and unpredictable. Storms are like that, change directions and intensity just like that. Noynoy mad at weather forecasters for not doing their job. Well, somebody out there convince me that Noynoy did his job as congressman and senator. If Noynoy's reaming of the weather forecasters makes him feel so omnipotent and all knowing then I have recommendations for him who he should hire next. In video form.


No comments: